The 'L' Word.

How many times have we heard it? "I Love You." How many times did we actually feel loved? Really?
I don't hate love and I'm not a cynic. I believe in love, but not that false love that weakens the actual word and meaning.
That word, diluted down to "love-flavored juice," slips too easily from our lips now. We use it an excuse, a shield, a distraction and we abuse it so much that when you hear it you automatically think, "yeah, right."
What happened to it? The word I mean. When did we start abusing that word? When did we start to believe that using it was a sign of weakness or for opportunity purposes only? When did the 'L' word become the doppleganger for destruction?

We only get so many real "I Love You-s" in this life, why waste them on games and deception?

Something is truly wrong when someone tells you they love you and you don't reciprocate, but instead, go numb. A friend told me, "Oh, you've been hurt before and now you don't trust anyone." I beg to differ. It's not a trust issue; it's a misunderstanding of the word itself.
It's lost in songs, poems and romantic comedies starring J-Lo.
It's lightly-dusted with exhaustion instead of smiles, giggles and that oogie feeling you get in your stomach. You get me, right? When you hear it said, it should sound like a song.

Where is the Boyz-II-Men, "End Of The Road," BabyFace "Whip-Appeal," "anything-by-Billie Holiday-love," that lies within my soul like powder, waiting for the right version of the word to 'add water and stir vigorously?' I'd drink THAT Kool-Aid and gladly leave that red, fruity ring around my lips.

Diversity & Contradiction

Okay, so I'm a short, black woman with big curly hair and a big butt. What does that have to do with the quality of my work? Apparently, quite a bit. I'm not surprised that veterans of journalism say that my personal branding or more specifically, my physical appearance will need to change if I want to be a Barbara or a Diane or a Katie. That's traditional thinking and also a logical fallacy. What bothers me more is that as I sat in class and the topic was discussed among the great minds of honor students and Master's students, I was surprised at how many of those great minds and future journalists also believed the same thing. I was a little angry at the way thinking HASN'T changed all that much and disappointed at the thought that I may have to work alongside or God forbid, under one of these 'great minds' who think that conformity is the best way to go. What is different or unique about yet another black woman journalist having to adapt a 'Miss Kentucky Pageant Bobbed-Haircut' in order to have a career in journalism? What is all of this talk about diversity if we are not willing to accept great journalists as they are and not as cookie cutter images sitting behind a desk or producing great news?
I had a couple of interesting conversations with two African-American women in that class. One told me that she just 'plays it safe' by wearing her hair straightened and another told me that I should first go out and make my name and then return to a hairstyle that not only celebrates me and my personality, but looks damn good? What are we learning in college? What is going to be different with these graduates that hasn't been done already? Why am I teaching my own daughter that hard work will speak volumes, when college is preparing it's students to go out and be sheep? Am I being too sensitive or too passionate? I accept that older people have problems with change, but lately it seems that younger people have already decided to go with the flow and worry about change later. Where is the diversity in that? Why can't I put on a suit and rock my big curly hair at the same time? Where do you draw the line once you start complying with the 'norm?'