I'm tired y'all. When you are placed in a position that you need to convince someone that you are "the one," It's not worth it.
Why is it he can depend on me, but I CANNOT DEPEND ON HIM?
Why do I have to hear the list of reasons that don't have shit to do with me? Your exes, your issues, you, you, you! You don't know me at all. You know the 18yr. old girl, not the 40-something yr. old woman.
I notice the small things you do that tell me what the real story is; You say "Love ya" instead of "I Love You," and when you feel like you might lose me, you pull out the old speech.
Fuck your speech! I'm here NOW, tomorrow is not guaranteed to any of us.
The time YOU placed between us has given me more than you know. TIME to think, TIME to consider and TIME to leave.
I'm out.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Shaming the Devil; Real Talk About the Black Sheep
Okay, so I have a brother who has cast himself in the role of the family outcast. He intensely studied the role and is ready for the Oscar. If ever there was a person so toxic that you can't even mention their name without getting pissed off, that's him. If there is a person you hate to see coming, if there is a person who causes you to close and lock doors inside your house while he is there, that's him.
Lemme give some backstory;
We were raised by our mother, a woman who worked her ass off at General Motors, made good money and spoiled her children like most parents who can afford to do so. My brother is the oldest, my sister, the youngest and of course I'm the middle child. We took trips every year, we went on vacations, we went to concerts, festivals, professional sporting events, stageplays and anywhere mother thought would interest us. We had brand new school clothes every year and since we were brats and wanted things no one else had, mother took us shopping outside the city. My brother had the most expensive sneakers always and any extra little things that boys wanted at his age. Our grandparents also spoiled us. My grandfather was a country man at heart and kept a farm outside the city where among other animals, we had our own horses. We were lucky children, I know.
For some reason, Bonehead (I told you I can't say his name w/o getting pissed off) was never satisfied with any of it. Mother indulged him even more, but it was never enough.
This triflin ass man went off and had a baby with an equally retarded basket case ( who will be referred to as 'the muppet' from this point on) and mother stepped in to assist them with everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. Baby needs, furniture, food, electronics, toilet paper (you heard me). These two lucky little ingrates had mother wrapped around their fingers.
I will tell you that I lost count around the 17th time they were evicted from an apartment. Not just evicted, but their shit was actually set outside on the effin curb! I couldn't make this up if I tried. Each time, mother was there to pick up the pieces, pay a deposit on a new place and re-furnish the new place. Nice gig, huh?
Again, this was never enough. Bonehead bad-mouthed mother and my grandparents whenever he had fresh ears who would listen to his bullshit. He bad-mouthed my sister and I. His situation was everyone else's fault. Asking this turd to get a job was like asking Aretha Franklin to wear her own size, it just wasn't going to happen.
Sitting on his ass and manipulating mother with her grandchild was his job and he was good at it.
I think this was around the time he decided he wanted to be a rapper. Filthy lyrics about bitches and ho's and violence was all he rapped about. He wasn't raised that way and by then, he was 35 fucking years old! I believe he had surgery too, a 40-ounce bottle of Olde English 800 was surgically attached to his right hand. Somehow, he guilt-tripped mother into supplying him with cigarettes. Bitch ass, right?
Returning home for funerals and visits, I could see that he and the muppet still hadn't moved one inch towards any type of independence. I found myself avoiding him because I didn't want to hear lies and I didn't want to be cornered to listen to his newest rap song. He started calling himself the black sheep of the family around the time my grandmother passed away. He'd show up at family functions with brand new clothes on, while the muppet looked as though she played an extra on Little House on the Prairie. If my sister was there, he took it upon himself to make sure others hated her, mostly with lies. The same with mother. I never got that. Biting the hand that feeds you, what's up with that?
My brother finally married the muppet after 22yrs. of evictions, domestic violence, deceptions and because nobody else would have him. He went out of his way to NOT invite mother to his wedding. Why? That is the ultimate smack across the face. Wait, I'm not done, she PAID for the wedding! Yes people. She told me that it didn't bother her, but I know better than that. Had I known of two guys with vaseline-coated baseball bats, he and the muppet would have had an extremely disturbing visit in the middle of the night.
Fast forward a bit and now, Bonehead had 'found God,' or rather he's found an opportunity to con and misuse the Church. Suddenly, he's quoting the Bible as though he wrote it himself. He's talking about his pastor and how much the church has done for him (like paying their bills, driving their cars, etc.) We all know this is bullshit because a changed man would ask for forgiveness. A changed man would get down on his knees and beg his mother to forgive him. A changed man would REALLY change.
Now, hiding within the church, he's acquired a taste for suits, not nice ones, but nice to him. Think about all the pimp colors or just a bag of skittles and there you go. Now, he looks like a short, fat, balding country pimp in a lemony-lime suit with matching shoes and hat. The muppet still looks like Laura Ingalls with a nappy pony tail and the beginnings of a sheep's ass growing down her neck.
Soon, Rev. Bonehead decides to buck up and is thrown out of church. He moves on to another church and is quickly tossed out of that one as well. HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU GET KICKED OUT OF A CHURCH? I don't know what he did exactly, but damn, TWO churches?
Mother decided to extend help to Bonehead and the muppet once again. She allows them to move into my grandparents home. My grandfather is old and needs someone there with him. We didn't find out until much later after my grandfather passed that Bonehead was abusing my grandfather. I tear up even now thinking about it. How afraid he must have been, in his own home. Our family Patriarch, the rock, the only father I will ever recognize, who never raised a hand to us, who loved Bonehead so much because he never had a son, was being beaten and humiliated by his own blood and he was too scared to say anything. When he finally passed, Bonehead started wearing his clothes, yes, you read it correctly. Mother had to evict them because not only did they refuse to pay rent, but Bonehead moved in a tenant, his mistress and her son, a violation of the contract and a violation of life itself. The muppet never said a word. What did he do when mother confronted him? Swell up like he was going to hit her. Oh, I didn't tell you? Bonehead likes to hit girls as well as old people.
Bonehead suddenly left town. Rumor is he stole a bunch of pimp suits from some Arabs who are on his ass now. They even went into the church to retrieve his sorry ass, but the pastor talked them out of it. Who brings that kind of drama into a church?
He looked up an old family friend and immediately situated himself in their family home, oh yes, with no $ and no job. Family friend contacts me with some concerns, we swap notes and Bonehead is tossed out. Now, Bonehead, who ran off leaving the muppet to take the heat for his bullshit has decided to contact the muppet and convince her that their daughter needs to support them both, because "That is what the Bible says." The muppet has grown a little backbone and has decided that she will not ask for, but DEMAND $ from my mother. Oh sooky-sooky now! That is it! I'm done sugar-coating and I'm done allowing the demonic duo to deny mother of the peace she deserves to have.
I'm shaming the devil, I'm telling the truth. Of course there's so much more, this is but a small sampling of the highlights. Why am I writing this? Because out of the years of listening to and witnessing his bullshit, not just him, but the muppet too, I've had it. How can you try to be a family with someone like that? Someone who is always looking for the con in everyting, the grift. Someone who if you shake his hand, you better count your rings, watch and hell your fucking fingers too. How many times do you invite the devil in before you realize that you don't change the devil and ultimately, the devil changes you?
I'm out.
Lemme give some backstory;
We were raised by our mother, a woman who worked her ass off at General Motors, made good money and spoiled her children like most parents who can afford to do so. My brother is the oldest, my sister, the youngest and of course I'm the middle child. We took trips every year, we went on vacations, we went to concerts, festivals, professional sporting events, stageplays and anywhere mother thought would interest us. We had brand new school clothes every year and since we were brats and wanted things no one else had, mother took us shopping outside the city. My brother had the most expensive sneakers always and any extra little things that boys wanted at his age. Our grandparents also spoiled us. My grandfather was a country man at heart and kept a farm outside the city where among other animals, we had our own horses. We were lucky children, I know.
For some reason, Bonehead (I told you I can't say his name w/o getting pissed off) was never satisfied with any of it. Mother indulged him even more, but it was never enough.
This triflin ass man went off and had a baby with an equally retarded basket case ( who will be referred to as 'the muppet' from this point on) and mother stepped in to assist them with everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. Baby needs, furniture, food, electronics, toilet paper (you heard me). These two lucky little ingrates had mother wrapped around their fingers.
I will tell you that I lost count around the 17th time they were evicted from an apartment. Not just evicted, but their shit was actually set outside on the effin curb! I couldn't make this up if I tried. Each time, mother was there to pick up the pieces, pay a deposit on a new place and re-furnish the new place. Nice gig, huh?
Again, this was never enough. Bonehead bad-mouthed mother and my grandparents whenever he had fresh ears who would listen to his bullshit. He bad-mouthed my sister and I. His situation was everyone else's fault. Asking this turd to get a job was like asking Aretha Franklin to wear her own size, it just wasn't going to happen.
Sitting on his ass and manipulating mother with her grandchild was his job and he was good at it.
I think this was around the time he decided he wanted to be a rapper. Filthy lyrics about bitches and ho's and violence was all he rapped about. He wasn't raised that way and by then, he was 35 fucking years old! I believe he had surgery too, a 40-ounce bottle of Olde English 800 was surgically attached to his right hand. Somehow, he guilt-tripped mother into supplying him with cigarettes. Bitch ass, right?
Returning home for funerals and visits, I could see that he and the muppet still hadn't moved one inch towards any type of independence. I found myself avoiding him because I didn't want to hear lies and I didn't want to be cornered to listen to his newest rap song. He started calling himself the black sheep of the family around the time my grandmother passed away. He'd show up at family functions with brand new clothes on, while the muppet looked as though she played an extra on Little House on the Prairie. If my sister was there, he took it upon himself to make sure others hated her, mostly with lies. The same with mother. I never got that. Biting the hand that feeds you, what's up with that?
My brother finally married the muppet after 22yrs. of evictions, domestic violence, deceptions and because nobody else would have him. He went out of his way to NOT invite mother to his wedding. Why? That is the ultimate smack across the face. Wait, I'm not done, she PAID for the wedding! Yes people. She told me that it didn't bother her, but I know better than that. Had I known of two guys with vaseline-coated baseball bats, he and the muppet would have had an extremely disturbing visit in the middle of the night.
Fast forward a bit and now, Bonehead had 'found God,' or rather he's found an opportunity to con and misuse the Church. Suddenly, he's quoting the Bible as though he wrote it himself. He's talking about his pastor and how much the church has done for him (like paying their bills, driving their cars, etc.) We all know this is bullshit because a changed man would ask for forgiveness. A changed man would get down on his knees and beg his mother to forgive him. A changed man would REALLY change.
Now, hiding within the church, he's acquired a taste for suits, not nice ones, but nice to him. Think about all the pimp colors or just a bag of skittles and there you go. Now, he looks like a short, fat, balding country pimp in a lemony-lime suit with matching shoes and hat. The muppet still looks like Laura Ingalls with a nappy pony tail and the beginnings of a sheep's ass growing down her neck.
Soon, Rev. Bonehead decides to buck up and is thrown out of church. He moves on to another church and is quickly tossed out of that one as well. HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU GET KICKED OUT OF A CHURCH? I don't know what he did exactly, but damn, TWO churches?
Mother decided to extend help to Bonehead and the muppet once again. She allows them to move into my grandparents home. My grandfather is old and needs someone there with him. We didn't find out until much later after my grandfather passed that Bonehead was abusing my grandfather. I tear up even now thinking about it. How afraid he must have been, in his own home. Our family Patriarch, the rock, the only father I will ever recognize, who never raised a hand to us, who loved Bonehead so much because he never had a son, was being beaten and humiliated by his own blood and he was too scared to say anything. When he finally passed, Bonehead started wearing his clothes, yes, you read it correctly. Mother had to evict them because not only did they refuse to pay rent, but Bonehead moved in a tenant, his mistress and her son, a violation of the contract and a violation of life itself. The muppet never said a word. What did he do when mother confronted him? Swell up like he was going to hit her. Oh, I didn't tell you? Bonehead likes to hit girls as well as old people.
Bonehead suddenly left town. Rumor is he stole a bunch of pimp suits from some Arabs who are on his ass now. They even went into the church to retrieve his sorry ass, but the pastor talked them out of it. Who brings that kind of drama into a church?
He looked up an old family friend and immediately situated himself in their family home, oh yes, with no $ and no job. Family friend contacts me with some concerns, we swap notes and Bonehead is tossed out. Now, Bonehead, who ran off leaving the muppet to take the heat for his bullshit has decided to contact the muppet and convince her that their daughter needs to support them both, because "That is what the Bible says." The muppet has grown a little backbone and has decided that she will not ask for, but DEMAND $ from my mother. Oh sooky-sooky now! That is it! I'm done sugar-coating and I'm done allowing the demonic duo to deny mother of the peace she deserves to have.
I'm shaming the devil, I'm telling the truth. Of course there's so much more, this is but a small sampling of the highlights. Why am I writing this? Because out of the years of listening to and witnessing his bullshit, not just him, but the muppet too, I've had it. How can you try to be a family with someone like that? Someone who is always looking for the con in everyting, the grift. Someone who if you shake his hand, you better count your rings, watch and hell your fucking fingers too. How many times do you invite the devil in before you realize that you don't change the devil and ultimately, the devil changes you?
I'm out.
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