My Sunday Morning at the Coffee Spot

Okay, so I'm minding my 'biz-nass' at the coffee spot, when a young buck strolls up behind me. I don't need to turn around. He's checking me out. I can feel the rays from his eyeballs penetrating my denims and cheekies and heating my entire ass. He shouts out "Damn girly got a nice ass!" He whips out his phone, snaps a pic of my ass and calls another young buck to tell him he's sending him the pic.
I pay for my coffee and head out the door. When I try to leave the parking lot, young buck pulls up behind me, music blasting and blocks my car. He gets out of his car, leaves the driver side door wide open and strolls over to my window grabbing at his sagging pants, wiping his face and adjusting his ball cap that still has the price tag on it. I smell an entire can of AXE spray which activates my allergies and my eyes water up and I start sneezing.
He asks me my name. I tell him and he mis-pronounces it back to me (not a biggie, most people do). But instead of trying again he decides it's ok to give me a new name. "Imma just call you sexy cupcake." (Um, last time I checked, I wasn't a stripper or stupid).
He takes out his phone and asks for my number. "42," I said. " What choo say cupcake? 42? What's dat?"
"That is my age." I thought that would scare him away. Foolish me.
"42?! Damn cupcake! You a fine M*%#$*!" I think that was a compliment.
He turns his phone just enough for me to see the pics he has. One of them is a pic of a young woman in lingerie bent over with her butt cheeks spread so wide I could see her uterus. There were more similar pics.
He starts laughing.
I tell him I'm allergic to his imposter cologne spray and that I have a stun gun and he needs to move his car.
Winged, but not wounded, he jumps in his car and screeches out of the lot at 100mph.
Now, I have to get home most 'riki-tick' and pop an allergy pill and wipe the AXE smell off my car door where he leaned on it.
I'm thinking:
Obviously, this approach has worked for him before, but with WHO?
Who would find that cute or complimentary?
What kind of woman takes a pic like that?
Did he think the ass collection on his phone would impress me?
Why am I STILL smelling that damn cologne?!
I'm out.